Untitled

wanktissue:

remember that time i worked in a shoe store and i asked a guy if he needed a hand and he held up one of his arms and he didn’t have a hand and he said “clearly” and laughed really hard and i didn’t know what to do

radgoku:

i dont think my friends understand. when i say my room is messy i dont mean “cute” messy where i have a jacket hanging here and there i mean messy as in fuckin trash island where garbage citizens hold elections over who will become the next trash overlord it’s fuckin gross


>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”>my face when Americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie”>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun” >my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”

>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”
>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”
>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”
>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”
>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”
>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”
>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”
>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”
>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”
>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”
>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”
>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”
>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”
>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”
>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”
>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”
>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”
>my face when Americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie”
>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”
>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”
>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun” 
>my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”
>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”
>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”
>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”

youngstero:

how can peach and mario just like casually play tennis with the giant dinosaur turtle monster who is always threatening both of their lives? they all just set aside their pasts to have a good old game of tennis? also did bowser raise bowser jr. himself? is bowser a good father?

turtwink:

yabba dabba done with ur shit

image

When did loving yourself
become so rare, that it’s
revolutionary to do so?
(160/365) by (DS)
funnyordie:

Pug Instantly Regrets Being Adopted
What mockery is this?

breakfastburritoe:

in first grade we had to write down our favorite ice cream flavor and the whole class put cookie dough so i put cookie dough bc peer pressure and then we were asked to color in an ice cream scoop with our favorite flavor and i had no clue what cookie dough was so i colored it blue and the class made fun of me and then some kid ate a napkin

A Word To Everyone Still In High School